Why Am I Crying in the Carpark?Perimenopause & The Art of Sudden Emotion
Here’s a moment you might know well… One minute you’re running errands - grabbing magnesium - and the next, you’re sitting in your car, staring at the steering wheel with tears running down your face. Nothing dramatic happened. No obvious trigger. Just a quiet, sneaky wave of emotion that came out of nowhere. Again.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These uninvited, often unexplained emotional waves are a very real part of perimenopause—and they’re more common than many women realise.
So, What’s Actually Going On?
Perimenopause is the transition phase leading up to menopause. It typically begins in a woman’s 40s (though it can start earlier), and lasts for several years. During this time, hormone levels - especially estrogen and progesterone - begin to fluctuate in unpredictable ways.
Estrogen, in particular, plays a crucial role in emotional regulation. It has a close relationship with mood-stabilising brain chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and GABA. When estrogen dips or surges, these brain chemicals are affected too - leading to emotional responses that can feel intense, erratic, or totally out of character.
In fact, research shows that women in perimenopause are 2 to 5 times more likely to experience symptoms of depression compared to premenopausal women. Not because they’re fragile - but because our brains and bodies are navigating a major neurochemical shift.
What It Can Feel Like
This emotional rollercoaster doesn’t always look dramatic. Often, it’s quiet and confusing. It might show up as:
Crying in the car, or at ads, or over the way the dog looked at you…
Sudden feelings of overwhelm in busy shops, loud rooms, or group chats
Old grief bubbling up unexpectedly
Sharp irritability or rage at small things (like a dishwasher that beeps too often)
Brain fog and apathy
A nagging sense that something is off, but not being able to explain what
For so many of us, these emotions feel deeply personal - like we’re “losing it” or not coping. But the truth is, perimenopausal mood changes are not about weakness. This is just biology.
Why It Feels So Personal
By midlife, many women have mastered the art of keeping it together. They’re the ones who juggle the logistics, hold emotional space for others, and generally keep the wheels turning. So when emotions suddenly become unpredictable, it can feel unsettling- like a personal failing. What am I doing wrong here?
But here’s the reframe: this isn’t a breakdown. This is a transition. A wake-up call from the body and mind, asking for deeper attention.
These emotional surges often highlight unmet needs, suppressed feelings, and long-ignored boundaries. In a way, they can be messengers - reminding her that it’s time to tune in, not just push through.
The Stats
A 2020 survey by the Australian Menopause Society found that around 70% of women in perimenopause experience emotional changes like mood swings, anxiety, or irritability. That means most women are quietly navigating this storm- often without much support or understanding from those around them.
If you’re crying in the car, you’re in good company.
What Can Actually Help
Here are some gentle, practical ways to support emotional wellbeing during perimenopause:
1. Name what’s happening.
When we can identify that it’s a hormonal wave, not a personal flaw, it creates space for self-compassion. “This is perimenopause, not a meltdown,” becomes a powerful mantra.
2. Keep blood sugar stable.
Mood swings tend to worsen with blood sugar crashes. Regular, protein-rich meals and snacks (especially earlier in the day) help keep energy and emotions more balanced. Recipes here.
3. Create space to feel.
Instead of bottling it up or pushing through, carving out time to process emotions - journaling, walking, talking - can help the wave move through.
4. Gentle movement.
Exercise can boost mood and lower stress, but it doesn’t have to be intense. Even a short walk, light stretching, or dancing in the kitchen counts.
5. Seek support.
Whether it’s a health coach, a trusted friend, or a group of women going through the same thing, connection makes a huge difference. This season wasn’t meant to be navigated alone.
6. Consider natural supports.
Nutrients like magnesium, vitamin B6, and omega-3s may help regulate mood and nervous system function. Always chat to a trusted practitioner before starting anything new.
Final Thoughts From the Carpark
If you find yourself crying in the car (again), here’s what you need to know:
You are not broken.
You are not “too much.”
You are not alone.
You are riding the hormonal tides of one of life’s biggest transitions - and doing your best.
At The Peri Plan, I believe these midlife emotions are signs of awakening—to your needs, limits, and longings. Yes, it’s messy. Yes, it’s confronting. But it’s also the start of a deeper, more powerful relationship with ourselves.
Want to do this whole peri Thing together? Check out The 21-Day Peri Reset. It’s an online group coaching program that offers community, support and a delicious way to lose weight and boost emotional wellbeing during the peri season.